On a chilly autumn night
Lights appear
Numerous and twinkling
A picture of worlds far above
But that is only the beginning
Search farther
Past the sky
And the moon
And the visible shining stars
Focus on a tiny patch of darkness
Hardly visible among so many shimmering lights
Look farther
Farther
Farther
Farther
On into the black
The black that will give way to light
So many lights
Gatherings of color
Shades of red
And blue
And orange
Clouds of dust so large a mind can scarcely comprehend
Galaxies so enormous that our world is but a speck of dust in comparison
Planets colliding
Stars exploding
Energy being sucked into nothingness
All of this goes on
In a tiny patch of darkness
That the eye can hardly see
We are only a speck
In the awesome might of the universe
This seems like it would be a great storybook with illustrations. I felt like I was a part of story circle, being exposed to my senses. This is powerful and well crafted. The rhythm was playful and danced like those lights you mention. I wonder though if "awesome" has become a cliche word and if maybe "awe inspiring" was what you were going for. I may be off. thoughts?
ReplyDeleteI meant awesome as in powerful, not cool or neat.
ReplyDeleteI really like this piece. Really gives the reader an image of what you are writing about. I really like the line "The black that will give way to light". very cool. It flows very nicely.
ReplyDelete- Jewel